Reasons to Wait
If you are wondering whether abstinence is the right decision, don't try to answer the question on your own. We've compiled a list of just some of the reasons that abstinence is the best decision...not just for your future, but for your present.
Or, maybe you already know that abstinence is the right decision, but don't know how to explain it to your friends, or boyfriend or girlfriend. In that case, these reasons will help you put words to your commitment.
Either way, your future is worth the five minutes it will take to read these reasons to say "no".
As you review this list, carefully consider the consequences of your decision; remember, the decisions you make today will directly impact your tomorrow.
Relationships & Communication
- Sex is better in a secure, loving marriage relationship.
- Sex gets in the way of real intimate communication.
- Sexual relationships are a lot harder to break up even when you know you should.
- I'm afraid it may ruin a good relationship rather than make it better.
- There are better ways to get someone to like you.
- You begin to compare sexual experiences, leading to lots of disappointments.
- Building a relationship in other ways is more important.
- I want my first experience to be a good one with someone who won't laugh at me, reject me, or tell lies about me, and who I know will always be there tomorrow.
- It's possible to enjoy ourselves without getting sexually intimate.
- I don't want to risk ending a relationship by our hating each other because of it.
- Sex may become the only thing that keeps the relationship together.
- You lose the chance to experience the "first time" with someone who really cares for you.
- I want my most intimate physical relationship to be with the one I marry.
Physical & Emotional Health
- To avoid STDs.
- The thought of having an abortion scares me to death.
- You won't have to worry about birth control side effects.
- It's the safest way not to become pregnant.
- I'd rather say "no" to my boyfriend than "Yes, I'm pregnant" to my parents.
- I might find it painful and the other person rough and uncaring.
- I don't want to risk becoming someone's sex object.
- Sex brings feelings of jealousy, envy, and possessiveness. Every relationship changes.
- I don't want to make myself vulnerable to being used or abused sexually.
- I'm not emotionally ready for that intense of a relationship.
- I could become scared of my partner.
- I don't want to hurt someone I really care about.
- Sex could become the central focus of the relationship, like an addiction. At that point it is no longer a meaningful relationship, but we are using each other to satisfy sexual desires.
Personal Values & Goals
- I don't want to feel guilty.
- I don't want the reputation of being someone that people date because they expect to have sex.
- I would disappoint my parents.
- I might lose respect for the other person, he or she might lose respect for me, and I might lose respect for myself.
- If I'm hurt too many times, I might miss out on something great because I'm so afraid of being hurt again.
- I like my freedom too much. Sexual relationships are binding.
- I'm only sixteen.
- I'm proud of my virginity, and I want to stay that way.
- Why rush into something that could be lousy or mediocre now, when it could be great later?
- I don't want sex to lose meaning and value so that I feel "sexually bankrupt."
- I am afraid that at this age it might not meet my expectations, and I will be seriously disappointed.
- I don't want the boy to brag about scoring with me.
- You may feel invaded, and you can't take it back after it's happened.
- You may have to grow up too fast and too soon.
- You may have sex too early to really enjoy or understand it.