Frequently Told Lies

You've Heard the Lies...Now Hear the Truth

Maybe you've heard some things that make you think abstinence isn't the answer.

Everyone is having sex.

I owe it to him.

Sex is just a physical act.

Now it's time to hear the truth.  And if you don't see the answer to your question, let us know!

1. everyone is having sex

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 50 percent of high school students have not had sex. And recent studies show this number is increasing. What's more, of the teens who have had sex, approximately 25 percent are currently abstinent!

Sounds like not everyone is having sex after all!

2. i won't get an STD

Here's a couple quick facts for you:

  • 1 in 4 teens who are sexually active get an STD.
  • Every day there are 42,000 new cases of STDs in America - 15.3 million per year!
  • Teens are especially susceptible to STDs because their bodies are still developing physically.
  • 70 million Americans have a viral STD.

3. sex makes you a man (or a woman)

Real maturity is shown by the ability to make good decisions, and understand that the decisions you make will directly impact your tomorrow. Respecting yourself and the other people in your life makes you a man (or a woman). Not letting others pressure you into sex makes you a man (or a woman).

4. STDs are curable anyway

It is true that some STDs, known as non-viral STDs, can be cured if they are properly diagnosed. But left untreated, even curable STDs can lead to serious long-term consequences. For instance, chlamydia and gonorrhea can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease which can cause infertility. So even a curable STD like chlamydia and gonorrhea - left untreated - can result in a woman never being able to have children.

What's more, viral STDs such as genital herpes, human papilloma virus (HPV), hepatitis b/c and HIV/AIDS cannot be cured. HPV is the most common STD in America and is the cause of virtually all cervical cancer in women. Cervical cancer kills approximately 4,800 women per year. That's more people than are killed by AIDS. Genital herpes, another incurable STD, affects an estimated 45-60 million Americans.

Someone may tell you that people will like you more, or more people will want to date you, if you have sex. More people might want to date you, that's true. But what that really means is that more people will want to date you because of what you will do, not because of who you are. That's not real love. That's conditional acceptance. (Josh McDowell)

6. you owe it to him or her

You never owe anyone sex! When someone is nice to you, it's often because they want to be - and you don't owe them anything. If someone is only being nice to you because of what you might do for them - then are they really a true friend, or are they just trying to use you? You have to stick to your conviction - you don't owe sex to anyone.

7. if you love someone, you give them what they want

First of all, if someone is asking you to risk your future and your health, then they may not really love you.

If you love someone, you want what is best for them. With abstinence, you can give your loved one the assurance that they will be free from unwanted pregnancy, disease, and even death - that's a pretty fantastic gift! (Josh McDowell)

8. sex is just a physical act

Sex is so much more than just a physical act. It is also intellectual, emotional, and social. Sex is not something between two bodies, it is something between two people.

9. people who promote abstinence until marriage say sex is bad

Nothing could be further from the truth. Abstinence doesn't mean sex is bad; it means sex is good - save it, protect it, and preserve it so that you can enjoy it in a marriage relationship. Your abstinence is a precious gift you can only give away once. Abstinence says, "I'm saving myself for someone who loves me enough to make a lifelong commitment to me in marriage."

And remember, even if you haven't been abstinent in the past, you can still control your future decisions. We've all made mistakes, but it is never too late to start over. You can't change the past, and you can't change the consequences from your decisions. But you can do everything about today, and you can prepare for what you will do tomorrow!

10. there are only a few STDs

Wrong again! Up until the mid 1970's, there were only two primary STDs: syphilis and gonorrhea. Today there are more than 25 significant STDs with many different strains.

11. condoms will protect me

Some people will tell you that having unprotected sex will lead to STDs, but if you use a condom, you'll be protected. Here's the truth:

Over the past 20 years, condom use has increased dramatically.
So has the spread of STDs.

Think about what that means - using condoms hasn't ended the problem of STDs. The number of people with STDs has continued to rise. The reason for the increase in STDs is not because of a lack of condom use. It's because of an increase in multiple sexual relationships. (Game Plan)

Even though latex condoms have been vigorously promoted to prevent non-HIV STDs, proof that condoms prevent transmission of non-HIV STDs is lacking. The available data about transmission of genital herpes, syphilis, chancroid, Hepatitis B and trichomonas vaginalis is insufficient to draw conclusions about condom effectiveness. Additionally, the effectiveness of the condom in decreasing the transmission of chlamydia is questionable. (The Medical Institute for Sexual Health)